This book is an informative, enthusiastic and humourous introduction to the BDSM world. While the title seems to suggest a broader subject, the book really does deal quite extensively with our favourite subject.

There has been a lot of talk about tolerance within the lifestyle. This is a very supportive and tolerant book.

The first chapter contains a wonderful list of basic sexual rights and the five fallacies of kinky sex.

Chapter two includes the Kinky Quotient Quiz, a quiz to help you and your partners understand your own sexual identity. This is a great communication tool for you and your partner to help both of you discuss one anothers loves and limits. Other books have quizzes too. (Screw the Roses, Send me the Thorns has a pretty good questionnaire.) I know many of you love to take these kinds of quizzes, so you may enjoy figuring out whether you are a kink genius, happy hedonist, straight but not entirely narrow or kink-challenged.

Chapter 3 discusses that question we hear constantly: is this normal? Braume discusses and debunks myths about what has been defined as sexual dysfunction, effectively arguing that classic labels about supposed sexual dysfunction demonstrate societal prudishness. She quotes Dr. Kinsey whose research reveals that approximately 50 percent of all adults may experiment with some type of rough or painful play during sex. Alexa Confort, Joy of Sex author, advocates bondage as a way for couples to increase sexual pleasure. Braume also laughingly quotes from a CIA report entitled Sexual Behaviour and Security Risk.

The book is filled with quotes from e-mails she's received. These e-mails make it easy for us to identify with the subjects of her book.

Still with Chapter 3, Braume has a wonderful section called Eight Talking Points on Kinky Sex which you can use to discuss with a partner.

The book is filled with fun and relevent anecdotes like How I learned to stop worrying and love the whip in which Braume talks about her first visit to an SM club.

She even discusses the spiritual connection between Sex and God.

Chapter 4 discusses how to get involved in SM activities. Thankfully, like all other books, this one emphasizes consensual sex and safe play. Braume even includes advice on social etiquette at SM Clubs. I loved it when she said leave your plastic pocket protectors at home. Great advice, isnt it! Seriously though, she offers very practical tips.

Chapter 5 and 6 deal with the subject of erotic bondage and erotic pain, including such topics as what makes bondage sexy and the reasons why people enjoy bondage. She has a wonderful description of the five top captivity fantasies (Stranded, Kidnapped, Prison, Medical, Sexual (sex slave). Im totally into the latter, so this part was delicious for me.

Chapter 5 contains a very practical and helpful guide to bondage toys according to logical categories (head, eyes, ears, mouth, neck, arms/hands, nipples, genitals, legs etc). Id never heard of a penis glove before...learned about it in this book. Not that my Master and i use this. Im the submissive one ;)

Check out the section on 15 ways to tease your tied up lover for wonderful ideas. Running a silk scarf over your slaves body is one of her yummy suggestions. She recommends rubbing it first over your own genitals before using it on your partner. Mmmm.

One of the questions Braume discusses is "Can I be submissive if I dont like pain?" I found this section very instructive because personally, although I enjoy sensation play, out-and-out pain is too much for me. She is very supportive on this subject, remarking that it is a common misconception that BDSM and D&S always involve pain play. Some people have had bad associations with pain. Submission means having a desire to serve and obey. She makes the important point that submissives are individuals not clones.

She reviews the top torture toys ranging from store-bought suffering to house and garden pain. Our own latest purchase was Josephine, a Celtic cross type paddle bought from Venus Envy, made by Leatherbeaten. It is heavenly.

Chapter 7 is about fetishsm. I wont discuss it here since it is not strictly a specific BDSM topic; although, the great thing about our world is that anything goes. (Quietly avoiding the subject of my own obsesssion with leather.)

Chapter 8 deals with role play and lifestyle relationships. She discusses all kinds of fantasies from age play to goddess worship. She has a small section discussing the 24/7 relationship and its contracts.

Chapter 9 discusses transgenderism and offers some very supportive and constructive advice to TVs and questions for partners of TVs. Its amazing the kinky uses she comes up with for a bra.

Chapter 10 is a brief overview of power relationships and provides advice about coming out to friends and family. This may be of help to some of you who have families and are struggling with how to deal with their discoveries of your sexual nature.

Chapter 11 gives a view from the top with a description and analysis of sexual dominance. Braume lists the key qualities of great dominants. Im most fortunate to have a Master who exhibits all of them: self-control, self-awareness, sensuality, competence, and compassion). This is by far the most complete chapter, discussing names, trust, emotional temperature taking, myths, femdoms, pro doms, gay and lesbian doms, how to punish a masochist, psychological dominance and ways to relax your submissive. The bit about rubbing your sub is quite tantalizing ;) She is so friendly and supportive in her book. She has a great section on five fun things about being a bastard for male dominants. Its great the way shes so playful.

Chapter 12 is the view from the bottom. Braume helps us understand the difference between consensual BDSM and domestic violence. She has tips on public etiquette, and a lovely section called Finding a Ringmaster in a World of Clowns. She gives female subs the following piece of sage advice: before you put them on a pedestal, take a good look at them on level ground. This is a really good chapter for novice subs especially. She goes into great detail about the stupid things femsubs do to screw up their lives and signs that a dom is dangerous. She offers advice on sweet services you can offer a dom, and goes into great detail on finding a prodom.

Chapter 13 talks about kinky facts, follies and fun. It also reviews the rules of BDSM. This section includes a list of twenty high-culture kink classic portrayals of SM sex, including both popular and obscure movies and books. She doesnt include the wonderful Secretary though since this book was published before that little gem. Theres also a great bibliography too.

Wait theres more! In the appendix, Braume has a short glossary of kinky lingo.

All in all, Come Hither is a great introduction to the SM world. Its practical, supportive, humourous and well written. If its not on your shelf, run now to your local Chapters or go to amazon.ca and pick up a copy. (Thats not an order, im submissive ;)